Beyond Stress

"Stress" is referred to in so many contexts, and with so many variations that I'll first take a moment to clarify what I mean by stress, at the time of writing this blog!

STRESS is a mixture of internal events that occur and are experienced negatively as a result of external happenings.  These external happenings may be either real or percieved.  The main differentiator in stress from any other emotion or body experience is that it can be very hard to pinpoint exactly what is being felt.  The mind, body, heart and spirit can seem to be in pain all at the same time with no clear exit lane.  This element of confusion seems to be the only consistent factor when it comes to people and stress.
Most other emotions have a beginning, a middle and an exit. 
Fear for instance, starts with something being scary and this fear, whether sudden or lingering the sense of being scared challenges a person to respond in such a way as to reduce the fear.  And it isn't just the negative emotions - Excitement, starts with information or a sense of possibility mixed with the positive and creates a tingle and an energy, often enough to 'wake' people up and help maintain action and energy when they normally wouldn't have enough. 
Stress is almost like an uncontrolled mixture of emotions which are shrouded by impossibility, pressure and fear, panic or dread.  Any single action may change the shape or how the stress feels however not shift or alleviate its power at all.

For me personally, I have found ways Beyond Stress simply because I have found the cost to be too great and I have noticed over the last few years that there doesn't even seem to be a benefit.  Many years ago, as a child when stress was a staple of my life diet, it was only the feeling of relief and clarity which gave me the impression that there was a benefit.  Relief and clarity happened however because of the actions and decisions I made to move forward!  I was excited to learn and realise that relief will happen as a result of any release of tension, and clarity is simply when the fog clears - and this could happen regularly and with varying degrees of energy.

So I've taken to thinking - what do I do to reduce if not eliminate my life stresses.  Some of these solutions seem so easy when noted down and yet they have taken so much practice and repetition and consistency to actually walk, talk and live.
* I live in truth.  This means that any form of deception within my life has either been eliminated, exposed or is noted when it is identified.  This does not mean that I walk around telling everyone my life story or my opinions or making my truth someone elses.  It just means that congruence and integrity remain my guard rails.
* When the compression of stress begins - I take a breath and start identifying the parts of the problem as soon as I can.  Doing this keeps the emotions, experiences and issues separate and prevents compressed layers which like squashed play-doh becomes harder and harder to pull apart without contamination.  Identifying does not mean actually doing anything with each part.  A bit like noticing the problems that need to be fixed on a car, you can make notes and then make decisions about which ones you can fix, work on or hand over to others.
* "My stress is not your stress" and if I would like to have friends or family who don't mind hearing my stressed space, then it is even more important that I present my information responsibly.  Letting someone know how I am feeling is very different to letting them know that they are annoying me or focusing on something in their life that I suddenly think needs fixing!

I wonder, if we knew how much energy and effort stress cost us, whether we would choose to buy in to stress as often and as long as we do currently.  Is it worth it?
If it is (for you) - is the benefit something you could achieve without stress?  What would you lose being stress-free?

Personally, I don't think it is of sufficient value to nurture and engage in too often.  Besides the frantic mix and demand of emotions and physical behaviours which are needed to respond quickly, I don't believe that there is a benefit to bathe in stress.  An occasional shower is fine as long as the temperature doesn't scald permanently!