Conscious eating - some first steps (Start)

In Sept 2​016 I had become 112kgs (morning weight consistent over a month)

 

I had become aware that whatever I was doing and was a part of my life had contributed to an increase of a little bit extra every​ month since Mar, maybe even last year. ​  I had been 106-108kg earlier in the year.

Although I am aware and knowledgeable about lots of dietary, health, exercise principles and even the maths of body physiology, I'm also very much a believer in the power of our own emotional state and how our interactions with ourselves and others contribute to our body shape and weight experience (module: Emotional Health part 1)​

That means that there are some things that I believe about body shape and weight, that not everyone would agree with.  This includes that I believe that if someones emotional diet (module: Emotional Diet) isn't worked out in the best interest of the individual, then their physical activity and food diet​ isn't going to help too much.  Sure, they can lose a few kilos, become more muscular and toned or take on a lifestyle label which gives a sense of success, better health or at the least a better appearance to others.

The wonderful thing is that it is completely in our hands and a mystery at the same time. The frustratingly horrid thing is that it is completely in our hands and a mystery at the same time.

So, a few weeks ago I started on a body focus time. This is challenging for me because body shape and weight are not a priority in my life. Neither are clothes or aesthetics or fashion a part of my top three personal values (activity: knowing your action values) Never have they been, and unlikely to ever be as it isn't in my best self to act to without feeling depleted or drained (energise module from reframe program - "Can't is born")

After 2 weeks of conscious eating I'm 2 kilos lighter

I'm enjoying the learning that I may be walking a 'good for me' path and if I keep checking, feeling, responding and acting in the way I have been over the last two weeks, it may form a good foundation for a future, less conscious action pathway.  A way of living for my next 20 years which suits my body, my lifestyle and my energetic life.

​A friend asked whether congratulations were in order and I loved the question because it brought to my awareness that I don't feel as though this time is a celebration.  However, a "that's exciting" or "wow, you may be onto something" would be perfect.  A joyful time of seeing that my action responses and honesty within myself are stronger and clearer.

I'm enjoying feeling calm, happy and hopeful. 

All this is well and good but what did I actually do to make a difference over the last two weeks. Here were some of my guide points, a way of gaining focus during the moments when things were going to get blurry and governed by my emotional habits of 20+ years.

I'm curious about how these guide points will change, blend or move around over the next weeks and months.

MISIA'S GUIDE POINTS

1. Continuing 1 serve only of dairy/day​   

** the choice of dairy was made after I determined what I am most regularly drawn to.​

2. Ensuring food consumption happens within an hour eg. 8-9am

3. Min 2hrs before any other food happens (no drinks exc water)

4. Water anytime and always. Be ready to refill bottle 8-12 times

5.VERY Important: Everytime I feel hungry or snacky...basically anytime I want to have something to eat, take a mental moment to ask myself what am I really wanting.

​
5A. Do I want something specific? eg. To be talking with a friend or reading a book or watching a film or tidying up the car.
Or if unclear
5B) D​o I want to having a certain feeling? Cared for? Needed? Loved? Funny and playful?
And then with that knowing in me...not acting to it.  Just feeling.

​FUNDAMENTALS

* Whenever sitting down to eat - whether a snack or a meal. ALWAYS choose what I feel like.  If I feel like meat and icecream. GREAT!. If I feel like a huge crunchy salad with a bit of chicken. GREAT! If I feel like cheesy nachos. GREAT! 

* Remember to enjoy every mouthful of what you are eating.

If you start something that isn't hitting a spot. stop. save it for later, give it someone else or throw it out.  There is no point you becoming the rubbish bin

* ​If there is any moment that success or failure, disappointment or excitement gets stirred up.  Take that learning to move into awareness about loss, sadness or gain.  Make a note of any recurring moments like this.

BODY AWARENESS
Along the way I wanted to pay attention to a part of me I don't pay much attention to.
My physical body.
The most I tend to do on a daily basis is check if I am comfortable, literally feeling comfortable in my clothes.  I choose stretchy and fluffy fabrics and prefer soft natural fibres, probably as a form of feeling warm and fuzzy inside (module: self soothing) however, it doesn't guarantee looking good or fashionable.  I just don't have the eyes to work out whether what I'm wearing looks good, although I can easily be aware of the things I don't necessarily like in what I see in the mirror.
What I was curious about was what sensations or experiences I would notice and remember over that time.
Here are the ones that stayed with me.
* I enjoyed an increase of turning movement, which meant my arms could reach further round the back of me.  
* I would sometimes feel a tickly squirty pulsing feeling to the left of my ribcage and top left
tummy area. Though strange it wasn't uncomfortable and would happen a few hours after eating.
* My bladder seems to refill at an incredible rate!

FORWARD FOCUS

So I am going to continue with curiosity and increased physical awareness.

I'm wondering what the next two weeks will bring.  If any new sensations come to my awareness I'll be making notes.  Also, I'll be paying attention to the emotional stirrings that arise.
When changing a relationship of any sort, there can be revelations or stirrings which surprise us.