Conscious Eating - 5 weeks have passed (Part 3)

Last week I was asked "Have you lost more weight?"

And my answer was "no, not this week’ and after a moment of offered sympathy I also said “no, I'm not disappointed"

Because this isn't my first objective. Yes. Along the way, I'd like my body shape to change and weight to reduce but first, after 40 + years, I'd like to learn a little about my motivations, desires and the foundation upon which the relationship with food has been established.
If this takes 6 weeks or 6 months, I don't mind. I enjoy discovery and I would rather know a little more about how my body works.  It has served me very well this whole time after all.  So rather than trying on diets for size or weight loss regimes or single impact foods (eg "Eat more cinnamon") or making larger lifestyle adjustments (eg vegan, gluten free etc) … only to find after the first few weeks of adjustment that they don't really fit me, my personality as well as my body. I'd rather a tailored Misia-fit, than cast offs and replicates - "Because I'm worth it" L'Oreal

Despite the power of advertising, it wasn’t hair and skin products which inspired me to do it this way. Neither is it a rebellion against the do it fast, do it hard programs out there.  It has been observation, personal experience and sadness that has made for this personalised, compassionate and self caring approach to inviting my body to reset and stabilize into its healthiest state. Inviting my physical form to learn what it can trust in me and my love for myself.

If you’re interested or curious about what the personal experiences, observations and sadness are? OR you just want me to write more (!) – then leave a note in the COMMENTS box below.

Fundamentals

·      Leaving a minimum of 3-4 hours between meals.  Allowing my liver time in between food intake, in order for maximum time for energy to be used in digestion, processing and general body action. 

·      Drinking water regularly although a bit less than before (see note below)

·      I eat food in the order I am feeling.  So if I feel like starting with watermelon and blueberries, I do.  If I feel like some icecream, I do. Most often I find that I am looking for savoury foods, not sweet.

·      I do not eat any food which I am ‘making do’ with and I have become very happy to wait a little longer in order to start my meal hour later to include that/those items.

Guide Points

·      I’m (still) leaving a minimum of 3-4 hours between meals. Extending to 6 hours on busy days.

·      I’m (still) enjoying meals within an hour timeframe.  Occasionally this extends into an hour plus five to thirty minutes when eating socially or with friends.

·      Drinking water regularly however only around one litre if I have a day out and about. I drink more when I’m at home or in places I have easy access to toilets!

·      Noticing what I feel like and when and checking that when I have something, does it actually satisfy me?

·      Still noticing how little dairy I actually am happy with. This still surprises me since I thought this was my essential daily food.

Body Awareness

In the first few weeks, I would look at the clock regularly to see whether time had passed and I would look forward to when I could eat next.  Just having the choice was somehow relaxing or calming.  In the last few weeks time has faded in focus.  In fact, 4 to 6 hours can pass quite easily now even during times where I am frustrated or bored or other feelings that previously nudged me towards a friendly familiar texture or taste.

That said, when I am looking to eat something at a time when I know I’m not hungry – I’ve noticed that it is more the texture, less about the taste.  I’ve noted this before, when eating chips for example.   

I absolutely LOVE the feeling of crunching and feeling the texture change from solid into mushy into liquid.   

I don’t have to be hungry to want that experience, and this week I was really wondering whether it is possible to identify what that experience is for me and if I can find another way to enjoy that OR is it one of those body experiences which one day I simply have to say “that is enough” and stop.

Rather like the “Chips and the Seagulls” story, some things cannot be weaned.  If you don’t know the story, COMMENT and I’ll write it in or find a link somewhere.

Oh! Just need to mention – that my body weight is changing again. It has been 109kg (morning weight) a few times over the week, or right on 110.0kg.  With the start of warmer days, this could just be because of water/hydration levels however I have changed the amount of caffeine I drink, which by contrast means there is less diuretic effect every day.

Forward Focus

I am going to increase my attention towards how much accidental consumption there is…if any.  I think that occasionally I pick something up in the kitchen eg a tray or my toddler daughters plate and simply pop the last pieces of corn or left over crepe into my mouth.  It is not conscious and I definitely have never counted that as eating, this is more habitual and with a view to clearing a plate/tray so that it can be put in the sink to be washed.  It is funny to me to see the contradiction between my own habits.  On one hand, I probably have 1 to 5 of these micro snacks during the day when I’m looking after the baby however, when I cook I rarely taste or snack, which I know is considered normal and expected of most cooks at some time.  I don’t know that this is a big deal, nor a significant calory intake issue because Elodie predominantly eats fruit and vegetables and I don’t snack on rice or noodles.  But we’ll see.

Besides this, I don’t have any further changes to the way I’ll approach the next few days and weeks.  For now, I’m still enjoying the discoveries and the complexity of the relationship.