Should I wait or should I act? It isn't always easy to know.

What do you get when you put baking soda into vinegar?  What about an aspirin into water?  Or even changing potatoes from hard to boiled and ready to mash!?
Bubbles, agitation and maybe some mess if it spills over.

After a little while though everything goes back to looking like a flat clear and kind of plain, after the agitated state.

In life it is like people would like the change, but don't want the agitation.  It is fairly common to hear that people are waiting.  Not the day to day waiting like waiting in line at the busstop or supermarket register, or waiting for a parcel to arrive but waiting to know who they are. 
Waiting to find out what they should be doing or should be looking for.

So, the mildly dissatisfied government worker waits to see what type of job they want next, and in the meantime 3 years pass with no greater clarity.
A person with house duties and looking after the children, waits for their partner to get more involved with the children and maybe to make dinner once in a while, so that they can feel more confident or feel that they have more time to reenter the workforce.
A middle manager waits to be chosen in the next promotion, only to be overlooked again, despite the occasional intense discussions with their boss, pretty positive performance reviews and seeing other people moving upwards or into more suited positions.
Certainly there is a benefit to waiting sometimes.  Depending on your personality and anxiety levels, you may also need to learn to wait and there are undoubtedly examples in your life, when some waiting yields results where pushing may have been destructive or detrimental.  So, though there is usually learning that can occur 'while you wait', when do you know it is time to stop waiting and step into creating a new experience?

Yes, those moments we see in the movies and even on youtube, when someone does something 'for' someone.  Like hooks them up with a new job, because they just knew their partner, friend, family member would suit it more - is great.  An undercover boss, works and watches someone in their work, and so handpicks them to become State Sales Manager and gives them a bonus $10000.  These are all moments we wish would happen to us.  But more often than not, life calls on you to organise your own experience. 


So - if you feel that you've been waiting forever for something better to happen.  Follow these steps

IDENTIFY   -    FOCUS   -   ACT   -   CHANGE

1.  IDENTIFY what you want to have or do differently
2.  FOCUS and convert all the thoughts and knowledge you have into action steps, tasks, buttons and even research modules.
3.  ACT every day.  Assign a task to each day in your diary OR a timeframe of minimum 15mins of acting towards your change. 
4.  Review the CHANGE that has happened.  Schedule a once weekly, fortnightly or monthly review date.  This allows you to see what progress has happened, what you have learnt and what tasks can be added or removed from your action list. 

Expect and accept that emotions will stir and even surprise you.  Decide whether you want to give time to emotional housekeeping or whether, you are better off just committing to your progress and path.

For me personally, I like to do my emotional housekeeping regularly.  This time gives me insight into myself and as I am very focused on relationship building, healthy communication and overall wellbeing, this suits me.  However, I know people who prefer staying in action gear with emotional distractions being firmly and quickly placed to the side, and only reviewed after a month or so.  As long as you are acting to your values and strengths, the 'when' doesn't matter as long as it is the healthy option for you.

So WHEN DO YOU CHOOSE TO ACT RATHER THAN WAIT?
When the experience will give you more information and insight than waiting.  When acting, doing and trying will actually teach you how to do something and develop your own approach. 
I may love basketball and watch people playing and read about it and know all the stats, but until I pick up a ball, feel the weight and the texture on my hands and try to bounce, dribble and control it, I really don't know anything about the experience of basketball.  Shooting goals is its own experience that can't be measured by all the balls that go in, but for the ease, reliability and your confidence in getting the ball where you want it.

For the government worker just plodding along, it is starting to apply for jobs and realising that they don't really want to work in their field anymore.  Perhaps learning that they still want to have a sense of stability and security of income but perhaps want a role that is more or less challenging than what they do now.  The action of applying for a job can really help clarify what you want to do, are prepared to do and really do not want to do anymore.

For the person with house duties and children, it might not be about finding a job first.  It may be about coordinating house tasks and children with their partner, or perhaps, making other arrangements with a nanny or a regular cleaner.  Even the discussions or arguments that arise with a partner, can be a bigger part of learning about the obstacles and how you deal with them. In choosing to act towards what you'd like to change, it may be the experience of communication which teaches you more than simply applying for a job.

For the middle manager it is about realising that they feel hurt at being passed over because they thought they were valued by their boss.  So they have to either find other work or accept that they aren't here to be recognised, just to do a job. 

Like most life paths, there isn't a clear black and white answer to whether you should act or wait.  But if you know you have been waiting, and learning, for a while.  It is quite likely time to act in some way, to invite the learning that just cannot happen through waiting.

Just like the bubbles that happen when you put aspirin in water, it doesn't usually become clear immediately.  There is usually some turmoil, confusion and cloudiness.   Eventually it clears, you can't rush it, you can just act then let things settle.

When we make the decision to shift gears from waiting into action, it is just like changing gears in a car.  Much of the mechanics may be the same but it is a different experience and will cause emotion to stir.  When stepping into action, emotions can stir and fear can hit hard and make you want to shift back into waiting gear.  But just like moving a car beyond walking pace, you have to commit to the new gear and learn what goes with moving faster. 

Becoming distressed at 'not knowing' can bring out anxieties and a search for familiarity and comfort.  Along with all that, can also come the sensations of discomfort and feeling like you have no idea what to hold onto.  Be gentle with yourself, and firm.  Take those moments and simply accept that they make sense and in a bit of time, give or take a little bit more time, as long as you keep getting up with a focus on the experience and the learning, you will get through and be stronger and clearer as a result.  Just like stepping onto a rope ladder, you can do it fast or do it slow, hate it or love it or simply wish that someone was doing it instead of you, but at the end you have the actual experience which you can tuck into your savings bank of experiences, even if you never do it again.

The other thing to remember is that keeping the two things separate, won't help you get to the other side.  Staying in waiting mode, while watching or imagining the things that you could be doing, won't get you there. 
Keeping the baking soda to the side of the coloured vinegar, won't get that class project volcano erupting and giving everyone that memorable experience and maybe even an A+
Keeping the Berocca tablet on the side of the water, might help you keep hydrated as you sip away, but definitely won't give you the experience that you were hoping for.  No Vit B boost or hangover hit for you!

But what about security and stability!?

Well, the good news is that by choosing to shift into action for something that hasn't been changing, doesn't mean you have to let go of security and stability.  Simply ACT a little every day to the new experience, this can mean writing up a CV or telling people that you are looking for a PT job.  It can mean you complete a self development activity every evening for 15mins before watching tv.  The simplest of changes, can generate impact and change without actually changing anything related to security and stability.  Then, when the time comes, you may have gained the strength, conviction and inner stability to make a change in your outside world.  Like changing from second to third gear in a manual vehicle, a bit scary and tricky, but like everything, when you stay focused, the experience actually sorts itself out.

I could say "GOOD LUCK", but I know moving and creating your own change has very little to do with luck.  Instead I will wish you "THE FULLEST OF STRENGTH AND ENERGY" to keeping up the focus on your change.

If you feel like sharing, feel free to email me misia.julia@gmail.com or COMMENT at the end of this post.