Have you heard the story of the caterpillars on the leaf?
"Two caterpillars were crawling along a tree branch one day when a butterfly flew overhead. One caterpillar said to the other, "You'll never get me up in one of those things"
This little story is told in the book - "Shift happens" by Robert Holden.
However it is a tale I've heard and seen in variations many times before.
I love this story as for me, it brilliantly and simply shows how we often only talk and act to what we know, and what we believe to be the present and therefore, without further thought, believe of the future as well. It shows how regardless of our views and what we think we know, life may have its own path for us and whether we choose to fight it or accept it, it is going to happen.
Gently, this story also reminds us, that not knowing is not a problem.
Not knowing is not something we have to sit and worry about or try to address because as long as we stay on track, life will have its way of steering us towards our future form.
Changing perspective seems to be a challenge for so many people.
Even more often, when we are told that there is one and our immediate response it that we don't want it, or we don't like it ... and therefore reject it.
Sometimes, it may be that we can see that what we thought was true, now could coexist in truth alongside some other truth, however ego or some other tension gets in the way of us facilitating the widening of our circle of view.
Many of us enjoy when something comes to us for free or is given as a gift. Why don't we enjoy when a different perspective is offered to us for free? It is a developed skill and takes hard work to change perspective on your own.
My daughter was in the car, looking for the cover to her tennis racket.
From her side of the car, just at the door - she looked in and said "I can't see it"
Her conclusion in that moment, understandably, was "Its not here. Where could it be?" and was thinking of other places it could have been placed.
I thought I had seen it in the back of the car earlier. So I said - "I will check. I'm sure it is in here"
Sure enough, as I opened the other back door, casting a little more light into the foot hold, the black racket cover was more visible. I said "It is here. I can see it"
Both of us had told the truth.
Both of us had looked with intention to find it.
However, I had the benefit of a little extra lighting and even closer distance to see what had always been there.
Fortunately, my daughter, was pleased with my finding. We were both happy to have solved the mystery and moved on with the next jobs for the afternoon. However, in that moment, I also saw that there were multiple other responses or reactions which could have arisen, and often do when people interact with each other.
When I pointed out the cover and picked it up and said "Look. Here it is".
My daughter could have felt accused of lying.
She could have felt bad or guilty for not looking hard enough.
She could have felt pouty or dejected about how bad she was at looking for things.
I could have also acted smug or 'better' than her. I could have made fun of her inability.
In that single moment we had choices which would have been self gratifying and divisive.
Fortunately - I had a holistic and cooperative approach in mind and this ultimately led my choices of action and speech.
Fortunately my daughter had enough self confidence and sense of self to simply accept that the cover was found, and that I saw it when she didn't.
But when we look to moments in life, when other people may reveal something which we can't see, why do those responses of self doubt, feeling bad or even suspicion of the other person arise. Enough to destroy the simplest path of response - acceptance, seeing the opportunity for new or different and perhaps even, joy or welcoming what that new perspective can bring.
There was another important factor.
The tennis racket cover had two sides. My daughter and I both remembered and expected to see a black cover with white writing, we had completely forgotten about the black side.
So the fact we were also looking for something specific - white writing to stand out and catch our eye - didn't help with our initial search.
So just like life and that tennis racket cover.
We are frequently given different perspectives for free - it is up to you to accept or reject the new thought. Acceptance however doesn't link to actually having to reposition yourself or use it straight away. Just like having spare towels in the cupboard, salt and pepper on the table or an extra notebook, you can just know it is there to refer to and use at some time in the future.
Also, though different perspectives can be affected by position and lighting, there is often another additional and very significant factor.
What are you actually looking for? and What are you asking others to look for with you? It is sometimes worth taking a step back and going for the broader search, just in case being specific is keeping you away from your ultimate goal.
