And yet - I don't take them for granted.
Do you thank your legs and feet for the job they do on a daily basis?
I know that I don't, but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate the work they do.
And I haven't forgotten about them either
Is this what support in life is about? 'Support' or feeling supported is something that is challenging to completely understand as it isn't as tangible as legs & feet. It is a concept which is misunderstood and yet without understanding, it is still needed.
With supportive networks in our life, we can feel stronger and healthier. Without them, we can be fine but feel weaker, more challenged to know how to proceed. Our emotional health seems to factor in this 'vitamin' of support and yet, do we really know what it is?
My legs offer me balance and support every day. So much that I don't have to think about it. So much, that without one side available to me, it impacts almost every part of my day.
In 2010 I noticed my legs and feet almost every moment of every day for 9 months.
I noticed my left foot because I had broken it. It took more than 8 months to heal due to complications. I noticed my right leg because it was now expected to perform without relief and was tired and sore.
I certainly was made aware of how much my life is based on having 2 legs that just work.
Everything in life - from sleeping, having a shower, driving and even making a cup of tea was impacted by not having the support of both my legs.
There is no question that I could get by without a fully functioning leg in that time. The fact I thought that it would only be out of action for 3 months (at first) made me prepare differently that if I had known I was going to be affected for most of a year!
There is no question about whether I could cope. Of course I could. In fact, one day to the next, I did just that. I coped and made adjustments necessary in order to keep up with life. I had crutches, I used my rolling office chair alot and even chose to become dehydrated!?
How does a lack of support lead to dehydration?!
Well, something else I remember from my time with a broken foot was the amount of energy I had to expend in order to do all those simple tasks. Making a cup of tea was not a matter of going to the kitchen, making one and sitting down somewhere. I couldn't use crutches in the kitchen as it required two hands. I couldn't carry or move anything while using crutches - although my teeth certainly became more useful in that time! So hopping was the other alternative. It involved making decisions every step of the way - have you ever tried hopping with a hot cup of tea? Needless to say, I significantly decreased my hot drink intake. I actually consciously chose to stop drinking as much water because just going to the toilet was a big challenge! I became dehydrated by choice! i would calculate whether or not I really needed a drink as opposed to whether I had to go somewhere (eg. picking up my children was a 1.5 hr round trip by car) or if I was trying to get work done and didn't want to add 20mins to a task by having to go for a toilet break!
It was not a good decision, it was just A decision - just a way of coping with all the jobs which had become huge energy and time demands.
Is this what happens when we don't have the support we need in our life? We cope and make adjustments and keep going. Some adjustments can be used for years and others, like not drinking enough water, will, in time, have a consequence.
So, what IS support? What is the right support? Do we know what we're missing? Do we know what we're looking for?
The concept of support can be very broad. Physical, mental, financial, emotional and even spiritual - what is it really?
Emotional support does have its similarities to physical support. It can make the difference between feeling strong in life, to feeling wobbly and unsure.
If I'm sitting at a wobbly table, i can easily make it stable by pushing a piece of cardboard underneath it. It will be fine - for me, for some time.... maybe for longer. So, in a way that temporary piece of card is adequate support. However, take it away and the table, on its own becomes wobbly again.
However, there are many more differences too. Emotional support is when you know there is a hand to hold or an energy to connect with which won't flick you away. And just through that knowing, maybe that reaching out - you find and know yourself again.
My perspective of emotional support is when you are in a weak or vulnerable situation, and know that you can look up and somewhere close by (whether on the phone, email or simply in your heart) you know that there is someone you can reach out and 'touch'. In that moment, you can regain some internal strength and balance and carry on. Emotional support is knowing that there is someone or something which you can completely rely on to be yourself, and with no more than a look or feeling, you can simply carry on with your life.
So, in terms of support in our life - each category of support has its differences. Physical support is tangible and solid, Financial support could be seen as similar in that whether it is sporadic or consistent - it is available when needed. Emotional support is a little different, in that it facilitates a person living, feeling and being themselves and being strong or stronger than when unconnected.
Most people know the feeling when their life lacks support. Sometimes the lack of support is what we notice more than the presence of it.
Like my choice to drink less water and have fewer hot drinks. How do you know that you haven't just become used to the gap and lack of support in your life and adjusted accordingly?
Take a moment, and let me know your answers sometime:
1. What is support to you? How are you supported physically, mentally, emotionally and more?
2. Where would you benefit from more support in your life? and
3. Are you accustomed to a support gap in your life? and if so, when will it be time to go beyond coping and adjustment and move to fulfilment?
I'm glad to have my 2 legs and feet fully operational again. And I will admit, that having lost that support, I am more appreciative of what I have now.
As has often been said, the experience of loss can really be an unexpected gain in the end.
